Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hey everybody. It's dark chocolate here. Your favorite? Awesome. Bold black bearded man. Boom, out of Las Vegas, Nevada. So I just want to first and foremost, give a awesome thank you to the good folks at full swap radio. So we are now part of the lineup at full swap radio. And if you don't know what that channel is, it is actually a lifestyle friendly radio station for alternative and lifestyle podcasts. So they have different podcasts from different creators, such as accidental swingers and ASN bedroom Blais, the bay bay pineapple squad. They have higher love and keeping secrets living the sweet life. Midwest woah, old faces, sex Hawk with sunshine, sinful ladies, the venous cup holders show hanky panky, podcast, keys and anklets. And so, so many more people you guys, and we are actually one of their newest members. So I want you all to go ahead and support them. Download the app on your phone, and you can pretty much get 24 7 of the latest episodes from your favorite swinger and lifestyle podcasts. That being said here he goes, Angela, with that sexy introduction,
Speaker 1 00:01:43 You are now listening to the bulls and Queens podcast, where we have sexy, fun, exploring the lifestyle and swinging exploits of black bulls, Queens of spades, cuckold fantasies, open relationships, seductive interracial encounters, and other kinky shenanigans that are sure to get you off in a very good way. So get ready ladies and make sure you take notes, gentlemen, because here is your host. That's super sexy, bold black men, candy, dark
Speaker 0 00:02:48 He'll call me dark chocolate, dark chocolate. Well, if you're a sexy woman, go ahead and call me dark shot. I may just like that and make sure you stroke my head while you were saying dark chocolate and you'll get bonus points for that. Ooh, I see some little sexy fingers moving over there. Whose thing is are those?
Speaker 3 00:03:06 Oh, these are, these are Scarlet's fingernails. If you notice them from, from the other end of the zoom screen. Hello everyone. Hi doc chocolate. Thank you so much for having me on
Speaker 0 00:03:18 Very, very welcome. So as you listeners can hear, it's not just like stillborn this interview. I have a very, very special guest from the lone star state, and I'm going to introduce her little sexy self here in a moment, but first let's get some housekeeping out of the way. So do you want to learn more about the lifestyle being a bull entering into the cuckold or the hot wife lifestyle? If so, if you're new existing, you just want to brush up on your lifestyle game. I want you to go right now to bulls and queens.com and download a free copy of my book. The bulls Queens and cook holds survival guide to the lifestyle. It is totally free and you can get it right
[email protected]. Look, I can barely say my own website name. And then lastly, I want you to make sure that you listen to us and I want you to make sure that you leave your favorite BBC midget mail whore, a five star review and comment on your favorite podcast platform. Be it apple, iTunes, Spotify, or Google. And if you do so, I will give you a personal shout out on the next show. Yes I will. And if my lovely wife caramel gives me permission, I just may do some Garrett nasty things to you or in you.
Speaker 0 00:04:50 So I have a very, very special desk. I have the love lovely and the beautiful cook older is starlets woo. And so here is her introduction. So Scarlett is a passionate queen of spades cupholders living in abundance and authenticity with her cup in the Houston, Texas area. She's a blogger and an advocate for the female focus elements of upholding hot wiping and slut lifestyles. She has been sharing snapshots of her journey from a traditional monogamous relationship with her fiance to a female empowered ethically. Non-monogamous cook holding dynamic on her blog holders musings since July of 2020 Skullet has been a featured guest on numerous podcasts, including sexual Kimmy podcasts, consenting adults, and the Venus cupholders podcast. Most recently Scarlett joint or below puck holding creators, sex researchers and luminary authors in the first annual cup week celebration. Scarlet is also the co-founder of the slut sisters movement and international collective of sexually liberated unshaped and transformed woman and fam identifying people. Woo what's up
Speaker 3 00:06:18 thank you for that lovely introduction, doc. Oh, it's so good to be with you here this evening.
Speaker 0 00:06:31 Yes. And thank you for being on and you want me to tell you something that is totally funny. If I see what you did with this slut, with the slut, do you see it? I saw it. Okay. So, okay, so y'all worthless, these, this, you don't see it. Okay. But she actually made it an acronym. So sexually the S liberated the L name, the you and transformed the T was that spelled,
Speaker 3 00:07:06 But baby that's right. And do you know what? I can't take any credit for that. Really? That was my incredible slept sister goddess on you thought of the acronym, but when she floated it to me, I was like, yes, that is, that is what we are about right there. So yeah, that's, that is the mission statement. So to speak of our slept sister collective. Yes,
Speaker 0 00:07:32 That is what I am talking about. And we are definitely going to talk more about the slut sister movements and how the dynamic is really, really changing on how women are becoming more empowered as we move into the future. So, and I love every aspect of seeing a woman come into full empowerment, you know, in their sexual selves. And so what I want to do a real quickly, well, not real quickly, but what I want to do over this Scarlet is you've been blogging for years. I know you've been on multiple podcasts. You're like an old G original gangster when it comes to, like, I remember like this morning on Twitter, we were conversing on the tweets. Is that what it's called? The tweets?
Speaker 3 00:08:21 Sure. We'll go with that.
Speaker 0 00:08:25 Yeah. Hey, I'm new to this Twitter thing. And so this one guy he came on and he was like, she is fucking famous. And I'm like, yeah, you are. Because every time I see anything in regards to you look at y'all, can't see her colder is stolen, but she is blushing.
Speaker 3 00:08:42 I am blushing. And it takes a lot to make this slept blush for sure.
Speaker 0 00:08:48 And y'all need to see her lips. Like, I didn't tell you this before, but I was just like totally permanent list because sexy looking lips. Oh,
Speaker 3 00:09:02 Thank you. Yeah. And I am wearing my very signature matte lip, um, just to, you know, see, can see every edge of those. Thank you so much, doc. Yeah. That was such a kind comment, uh, and trust and believe like in a year or so, it's going to be like, doc is famous. Like he is so like, because we, we really, in this lifestyle, we are pioneers, right? We are swimming against the current. And I think that people who hear our voices and listening to podcasts like yours, like they really resonate and respond and trust and believe. Like I never set out to have any kind of regime or notoriety. I just wanted to connect with people through my authentic experience. So the fact that that has resonated with so many people just Lowes my mind, like every single day, I'm just absolutely fascinated that this one girl's story and our story has, has reached so many people
Speaker 0 00:10:08 That is killing. So I want to hear that story. The listeners want to hear that story. So, and I know that many people have heard you on other podcasts. They have read your blog posts at cupholders, scarlet.com, but like let's dig deeper into that authenticity of who you are, how you got started, how they hell did this girl from Houston, X's get isn't as crazy past lifestyle. Like give us the 4 0 1.
Speaker 3 00:10:43 I will, I will. I'm happy to, um, I actually not from Houston, I have lived here 10 years. So like, I am definitely officially adopted Texan. Uh, but I'm actually from the west coast. And, um, you know, I guess it's always hard to pick your own like origin point, but I guess what I will say is that, um, I've always felt connected with myself as a sexual being and always kind of struggled with how that would look in the way our society is. Right. Um, and so I think that a good origin point is when I met the love of my life, um, which, you know, I was, uh, recently divorced and, you know, just looking to develop a really solid, truthful, honest, open, vulnerable relationship. I prioritized that as like, this is what I want, and I think I know what the school looks like, and I am willing to do anything it takes to get that.
Speaker 3 00:11:53 And, you know, I had met this incredible person who was really a friend first. Um, and I think that that has always kind of, I know that you refer to your wife, dark chocolate is like your BFF. And I love that. Like, I think that having that solid foundation of friendship is so important in a, in a relationship we have to laugh together. We were in each other's spaces all the time, you know, uh, keep things all up. So, um, so yeah, we started as really great friends and then I started realizing this may be the guy that could be a real potential partner for me. Um, and as we moved into a relationship for the first time in my life, like I had a fantasy life with somebody, I had never had that before with previous sexual partners. Like, you know, we would talk about what turned us on and just really spend a lot of time in fantasy.
Speaker 3 00:12:56 And one of the fantasies that was brought up was, you know, what, if we were open, what if we tried having fun with other people, right. I think that dirty talk and, and creating these kinds of spaces where you're so safe with the person you love that anything is possible, right. Uh, you know, we could participate 4g or like he could tie me up and have a bunch of dudes come in and he'd bang me. Right. Like all of this is possible in the sandbox of, of fantasy. Um, and that was just so thrilling to me because I had never, like I said, had a partner that as an ons and fantasies sex was always just kind of very rote. And even though I always like enjoyed it, uh, this, this rich fantasy life, we had really just brought things to that next level. And so, um, so as we kind of progressed in our kinkiness and I mean, my fiance, he's a kinky dude and I was like, I got me a kinky dude. Fuck. Yeah. Cause I'm a kinky woman, like match made in heaven. Um, so we decided to open up our relationship and, you know, really kind of, I knew what swingers were kind of from the cultural ether. I think we all kind of know what a swinger is. And so, um, you know, we decided, okay, you know, we're gonna try and be swingers. And our first experience was, you know, bringing another guy into the bedroom, uh, you know, as a MFM situation, the world's AKA the world's easiest threesome to put together. Right.
Speaker 3 00:14:46 Oh my God. I, I appreciate that. So yeah, I mean, it's so easy to, to make that happen. If you know, you're determined and you're know what you're looking for and communicate really well with this third. Um, and then we kind of launched into the swinging lifestyle with clubs and meeting other couples. And what I loved most about the swinging lifestyle was the social elements. Like, you know, getting to know different people, getting together. I I'm a real big energy person and I love the energy of a really big, loud boisterous group. You know, it doesn't matter what we're doing, but in the swing world, I really found that and I found like-minded liberated people. And I was like, this is, these are my people. Um, however, I did notice pretty quickly that like, well, yeah, after a couple months I noticed ma I don't think we really look like or behave like the other swinger couples, because, you know, in a lot of the swinger friends, we had demand got the majority of the play, or as much as the woman did.
Speaker 3 00:15:56 And for me, that was the opposite. You know, I was generally getting the majority of our play and, you know, my fiance seemed very consent or contented just like watching or orchestrating or participating in other ways. But I didn't find that odd because I had never been in an ethically non-monogamous relationship prior to that. And so, um, was actually, my birthday was approaching and it was a funny story. My birthday was approaching and, uh, I was messaging with the swinger friend and he was like, oh, do you know swingers have these big birthday bashes right at the swinger club, VIP room and everything. You know what I'm talking about? They go all out. I bet you, yeah,
Speaker 0 00:16:41 Next month is your birthday. Next month is my birthday. I'm going to be naked. I'm going to be drunk. I'm going to be a little bit high. And on the left, like it ease in my mouth and maybe a foot. And I'm going to look at asshole.
Speaker 3 00:16:56 Oh my God. I need to be at your birthday party. That is, I am all about all of that.
Speaker 0 00:17:01 It might just be your asshole. I'm looking
Speaker 3 00:17:03 Okay. Hey, I'm open to that. Uh, you know, I would love to receive some, oh anyway, you're distracting me, doc Johnson. Trying to tell my story. I'm sorry. I apologize.
Speaker 0 00:17:21 You can, you, you can whip me when you see me.
Speaker 3 00:17:24 Oh my goodness. Oh, no. I got to bring my impact play tools on the plain dark chocolate. Goodness. McCarran airport. Wow. You take that stuff seriously. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I've got a few, a few paddles, a few floggers, you know, fun stuff.
Speaker 0 00:17:48 Okay. Okay. Truly interrupting you. I am throwing you off. I apologize. I am a horrible, horrible podcast host. I apologize.
Speaker 3 00:17:55 Oh, you are not. I'm having so much fun. Okay. So I was chatting with this, this person. He was like, do you want us to throw you a party? And I was like, I'd rather have a gang bang. If I'm being honest. Like I thought to myself like that, I think would be an experience that I would like a little bit more. And so I came home and, you know, I had kind of tentatively agreed to this and I was like, oh, like I kinda told my fiance, wait, what if he's like, not about this at all, when I've made a horrible mistake. Right. And so I came home, I said, Hey, so-and-so asked if I wanted a party. I, I really want to gang bang. How would you feel about that? And there was a moment of very heavy silence in the air. And I was like, you know, I may have made a mistake here.
Speaker 3 00:18:48 And the next thing he told me was that he was really interested in exploring a different dynamic where I would never have to feel the kind of trepidation that I was feeling about asking for him, demanding what I wanted, that he would support me in my sexual empowerment, no matter what that meant for me. And that, you know, as long as we communicated, he wanted me experience that I wanted to have sexually, you know, and have a committed and loving monogamous man at home because he was sexually satisfied then, and still is today by me. And he knows that I have an insatiable and voracious hunger that, you know, I really enjoy indulging. And as you can imagine, I was really taken aback by this. And, and then he explained a little bit more about this relationship dynamic called cuckolding, where it's kind of a flip of the kind of traditional patriarchal, you know, the way we thought about gender roles in sex, right.
Speaker 3 00:20:02 That I initiate the sex either with him or with whoever I desire. And I come first, you know, what, what I kind of say goes in the bedroom and that he really enjoys being along for the ride, so to speak. Um, and there's many ways in which I indulge him and involve him. He is very much so present in what I, in my empowerment and how I express that. But, you know, I didn't know then all that I know now. And so I was so excited about this potential dynamic, but I almost immediately felt the weight of a lot of responsibility on my shoulders that I still to this very day, right. Because I love my fiance more than life itself, but I was really intrigued by the belief that I could, as Vina says, have my cake and eat it too. I say, have the best of both worlds.
Speaker 3 00:21:03 Right. I truly believe that it's the kind of relationship dynamic I was called to be in because it's reflective of some things about my inner truth. And I think he would say it is as well. So that's kind of the origin story of how I got to be where I am today. And, um, you know, I am also a big part of my sexual identity is that I am a queen of spades, which for me means that I have an exclusive preference for black men that I never compromise on. Uh, and that was something that cropped up, not out of my couples fantasies, even though they align very well, but, but really it out of my empowerment because when you're empowered to have, you know, and seek with reckless abandon, like not reckless, but with abandoned, right. Having the best sex ever, you begin to be discerning about what that is and you know what that means for you. And for me with black men, I found lovers really matched me when it came to veracity and Realty. And I am not a two rounds and fall asleep kind of girl. Like
Speaker 0 00:22:21 You go the full distance.
Speaker 3 00:22:23 I am a marathon fucker. Like I want you to bring it. Like I, I was at a party the other night. Um, and I ended up finding this incredible guy on light. And in the morning, like we finished our last round. Right. And I opened the door, it was a house party. My girlfriend's out there and he's still like, he's like on the bed, like naked, like passed out. And I looked at my girlfriend and I said, apparently I killed this man.
Speaker 0 00:22:57 Okay. Okay. Scarlet, I have to, I have to defend all of us. Hey, this is where I'm going to, this is where I'm going to get extremely sexist. Okay. We literally do 70 to 80% of the work. Like they're pushing, they're picking people up and tossing them around swinging legs. And this past weekend I was at the MGM grant. I had this up and I was just like, thrusting it fucking, just tossing her up. And I had a bunch of wet from the Belmont, or if I looked up that I needed a Gatorade, I needed some electric lights replaced.
Speaker 3 00:23:41 I hear you. I hear you. Like I say, I so appreciate that. And I was saying, it was a joke. He more than satisfied me and trust and belief. We appreciate all you wonderful gentlemen, bulls do. But you know, I'm just throwing that out there as just, just the story about how, for me, I, that's what I enjoy. And I, because of the empowerment I have through my relationship, through my relationship with other sexually empowered woman, I don't have to settle for anything less than, you know, what I desire. So that is, is part and parcel of it. There's also a lot of the erotic racism to interracial that I enjoy the, my cook and joys. I think it's a very, you know, erotic and, you know, the skin contrast is this striking and beautiful and just the incredible chemistry I have with black men.
Speaker 3 00:24:36 You know, a lot of people think, oh, you're queen of spades. So you'll sleep with every, any black it's like, okay, no, no, no, no, no. You know, the first thing you have to meet is being a kind and compassionate and, you know, decent, wonderful human being that has sexual chemistry with me and his interest in me, you know, that's, that's really, you know, the first requisite I say should be, I hope for everybody. Right. But so that is, that is what it means for me. And also like the piece about clean is that I, I wear my preferences. Like a crown is something I say, like, I'm not, there's no shame in my game. I am loud and proud about what I love and what I enjoy about black men and all that they bring to my life. So that's really what the queen peace means to me. It's not that I'm venerating myself or anything like that. It's that I hold my head up high and act Regal, you know? Um, so that's, that's kind of a, uh, a snapshot piece of, of how I got to be where I am today. Doc,
Speaker 0 00:25:39 There has definitely been discussion over some of those terms, like queen of spades and BBC and oh, hold on now. And I got to throw this out there. Y'all that are listening now to every black man got a big Dick throwing that out there. This girl is looking at me like, I don't believe you
Speaker 0 00:26:07 Gave me this look like aha, aha, whatever. But, uh, no, but in all seriousness, like, um, and the thing with it and just my 2 cents that I'd like to throw in there is that when one gets into the lifestyle, they're getting into it for just like what Scarlett said is the eroticism and they're there for the fantasy. And the fact of the matter is as an empowered woman, there's going to be things that you physically spiritually, emotionally, mentally desire from a man. And then vice versa. He's going to desire that from a woman or whoever his partner is, and you have the love of your life, which is your fiance and that's your mental, your spiritual, your emotional connection and your spirit, a sexual connection, but then on a fantasy eroticism standpoints, your hunger or your attraction is for black males. And that's not saying that there's anything wrong with that.
Speaker 0 00:27:26 And I feel Scarlet that more people should be accepting and proud. Like you said, loud and proud of what they desire out of the lifestyle. You know, if like, if you don't like to have sex with black people, that's fine. If you totally want to have sex with like 20 people and get gang bang or every single hole, that's fine. You know? And I feel like we need to move into more of an acceptance of what other people's kinks are, you know, because my kink may not be, your cake may not be somebody else's cake, but I accept it all. What do you,
Speaker 3 00:28:09 I mean, I couldn't agree more dark and it is, it is fascinating, right? Because we all do come to lifestyle with, with this mindset of like, this is fantasy, this is play, this is fun. This should be light and we should be fucking laughing and enjoying ourselves. Right? Like that's what we're here to do. Um, however, like I also want to be cognizant of and aware first and foremost, always of how I'm treating people that I'm treating everybody with respect, you know, that everything is consensual. You know what I mean? And, uh, one of the things that I do think about sometimes when we think about this juxtaposition of where does real life and, and fantasy start is like for me being a queen of spades means being an ally to black communities by businesses by causes. That's what it means for me. And I know that part of the controversy surrounding that is there may be some woman who, you know, Dom that title or have that tattoo who maybe don't vote, you know, in ways that are supportive to black causes or, you know, support black businesses.
Speaker 3 00:29:25 And I just want to say that for me, it definitely is. I'm something I'm cognizant, always of how I can be a better ally. And also, you know, being in intimacy with my bowls, you know, it creates a space where, you know, I can really listen to what their experience is and learn. Um, so as much as like, yeah, there is a partition there, I also want to be the best ally that I can to sexually empowered, you know, black men, black women just, you know, lifting them up, especially, I mean, we're recording this during black history month. So I'm really dedicated to lifting up the voices, especially of sexually empowered. Black woman slept sisters, you know, alongside with me. So I'm really glad that you asked that of me doc, and we could have this conversation. Uh, it's important to touch on these things. I think
Speaker 0 00:30:25 What exactly is the sluts? This is movement and can a brothers such as myself be an honorary slit sister or a slit
Speaker 3 00:30:40 Goddess, slight
Speaker 0 00:30:41 Brown flipped rope or the get eight. I mean, who do I need to suck to become more? Like I will leave my wife with the top
Speaker 3 00:30:54 Sleep your way to the top.
Speaker 0 00:30:56 I wait for the,
Speaker 3 00:30:57 Let me tell you, you may get away with a doc, but, uh, we're going to put some safeguards in place. I, because sisterhood, I'm just playing. I'm just like no seriously. So to give you a little background on, on sisters, which is a project that I'm developing with my very, very dear friend got us on Anya. Uh, she's on Twitter and she is the host of the sexual alchemy podcast, which you mentioned earlier. Um, so essentially like I'm bisexual and to give you kind of the origin of slut sisters and what it means now. Um, I had the opportunity to meet an incredible woman in 2020, uh, goddess, Anya, who I met through our incredible cuckold in community, because she is also a woman, uh, in the relationship container of cuckolding. And I have always thoroughly enjoyed the energy that sexually empowered woman bring. Like I mentioned earlier, when I was in the swinging world, I loved swinger women, you know, because they were so uninhibited and free and that energy to me, it's like, gimme, gimme, gimme I love it.
Speaker 3 00:32:12 Uh, because I also put out that energy too. So to receive it, it just really nourishes my sweaty spirit. So meeting Anya, but I will say when we transitioned into cuckold and couple thing tends to be less social, it's much more kind of behind closed doors, like the bowl, the cartoons behind closed doors. Right. And I really missed the social element of, you know, the swinging lifestyle when we transitioned to capital. Um, and so I started getting connected with the bigger Calcutta and I met Anya and, uh, hurt, incredible cutouts men. He is, man, I've got to introduce you to this guy. He is something, he, he is the cut genie. He makes dreams. Um, he, you know, we were blossoming a friendship over FaceTime and text and we do not live in the same city. So her husband arranged to fly her out here to Houston. She had an incredible night we'd set up. Uh, I think it was her first gang thing. I'm pretty sure with five of my best bulls, my 18. Oh,
Speaker 0 00:33:24 I bet you one of them, Mr. T huh? Pity. The fool that brilliant.
Speaker 3 00:33:39 No, no, I can't. I do have one bullet. It's kind of a resemblance, but he wasn't there that night. I'm sorry. I've died over here. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:33:49 The 18, Hey, the stands for Omnia.
Speaker 3 00:33:54 I know they, they did. They really showed her a great time at night. Um, but what, what we learned through that is that feminine, which we believe is divine. Like the divine feminine energy that was flowing between us and the shouldn't that we had, like, you know, as it's actually empowered woman was something really special and that we wanted to share that with other women. And so, um, have you heard of the event splash mocha doc?
Speaker 0 00:34:26 I have. I have, uh, it's um, I've heard of it, but I don't want to misinterpret what exactly is it?
Speaker 3 00:34:36 It's a, it's a interracial hotel takeover. It's an interracially fiend hotel takeover. So there are couples who attend and lots of single gentlemen, black bowls who attended it's actually an event that is catered not to the couples or the women, but to the black bulls who attend. Um, so it's a really special event. And, uh, we attended that event together. Um, and that was when we started playing some of our slot games like slut bingo, which is famous.
Speaker 0 00:35:10 Are you going to tell us about sled bingo?
Speaker 3 00:35:12 Oh goodness. I know everybody wants to hear about, um, yeah, essentially we had a bingo card with some of the nastiest sluttiest, and I'm saying nasty. This would love like all sorts of things on this big go-cart we had, you know, um, gosh, we had a fisting
Speaker 0 00:35:32 He's blushing. She's blushing. By the way he is.
Speaker 3 00:35:37 I'm telling you I don't budge. I'm just trying to think of specifics. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:35:40 You are blushing. Like as soon as you said this thing, you said fisting that he turned bright red.
Speaker 3 00:35:47 Yeah. Yeah. There was some testing on there. There was some golden showers on there. There was some, you know, uh, double digits in one day that was on the bigger guard. Right. So
Speaker 0 00:36:00 W w what is double digits?
Speaker 3 00:36:04 Oh, double more than 10 guys in one day.
Speaker 0 00:36:08 Oh, shit.
Speaker 3 00:36:10 I thought drew told you about us hot wives in Texas. Didn't he?
Speaker 0 00:36:15 Oh, he was talking about, yes. He was up about you guys. Okay. I start late. I didn't put two and two together cause he told me that. Okay. Okay. I,
Speaker 3 00:36:25 It was not at that party, but I own that because we have a lot of fun down here in Texas, but anyhow, so that was what was on the bingo card. And you know, it was all conceived of by Anya's husband and he had this friendly competition going your mind and we just had a ball with it. We had a really good time. It was so much fun. It was a great icebreaker. It was a great way to get to know guys. Um, you know, and that, what was cool about that doc was that it shifted the power dynamic. That's kind of unspoken at lifestyle events where the women are kind of the entertainment. Right. We dress up in theme, you know what, when we whipped out our bingo cards, it was like, okay, guess what? You know, you're not here for me, you know, I'm coming for you. And so it really energized our slept power, you know, in that, in that event. Um, speaking of here, let me show you, oh shoot.
Speaker 0 00:37:27 She just flashed me a boot by the way, the
Speaker 3 00:37:28 Personalized getting on the bags that we have. Oh, wow. I didn't know if you can see it says
Speaker 0 00:37:35 On there, plus
Speaker 3 00:37:39 This is a condom bag, right? I know your audience can't see it, but we had lots of fun.
Speaker 0 00:37:46 It elsewhere. It'd be very, very bad. So, okay. So listeners, I'm going to describe cook holders. Scarlet's let's bag. So if you don't mind, please hold it back up again. So it is a black bag of approximately 14 to 15 inches in length. And it has in golden, in Boston glittering in a nice font, slit power exclamation point Scarlet's slut supplies.
Speaker 3 00:38:14 And it is full of, you know, as many condoms as you could imagine.
Speaker 0 00:38:19 And she taught them, she got the skins.
Speaker 3 00:38:22 I do.
Speaker 0 00:38:24 Yeah. So y'all latex sensitive folks can get down nasty and dirty.
Speaker 3 00:38:32 Exactly, exactly. I mean, that was a big sensation on Twitter. Um, and so what we're trying to do doc is really develop an intentional collective, not just of hot wives or swingers or women in the cup, holding dynamic, but of women who are really seeking to have a more raw and authentic experience with their sexuality in a world that has slut-shamed on us in a world that has told us we have to be the Madonna or the whore. We are going to create a space for all of that is removed. And really doc we're, we're trying to remove the female sexuality from the male gaze, because let me tell you, nobody gets more excited about such sisters than the incredible bulls and men in our lives. Not that we don't appreciate you, uh, but we're really wanting to create a community where women can feel safe to be in a completely feminine zone. Uh, and, and it's not, it's, it's fem identifying people, right. So it's a very inclusive space. Um, so I encourage you to start the bull brothers, but slut sisters is only going to be for the,
Speaker 0 00:39:48 Okay. Okay. I can do that. Like, I, I love it. You are so fucking smart because it's BB, both brothers and
Speaker 3 00:39:59 Sisters, I'm telling you,
Speaker 0 00:40:03 I'm sorry. The bull brothers full brothers. Okay. Okay. I'm running that.
Speaker 3 00:40:07 When, when Anya was at the last splash, her, her, uh, her hubby made t-shirts for all of the guys that she played and yeah, I got to keep one, but
Speaker 0 00:40:18 They got, they got to keep a shirt.
Speaker 3 00:40:21 Oh, I got to keep one of the guys' shirts. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:40:27 Or,
Speaker 3 00:40:28 Oh no, no. He had to go off, but I get, I get that. I get the bull brothers shirt, but just, I think it's a great concept. Right? I think that any way that we can really build comradery, um, and, and just, you know, not to say that we always have to separate by gender, gender expression, but it really does create a different sense of comradery. So we will be releasing more information about sweat sisters later on this gear. And if you're curious, you can always follow me on my socials and stuff to stay connected with updates. So for asking doc,
Speaker 0 00:41:05 The questions you Scarlet is, I feel like for so long that woman have been kept down from being fully liberated. And I can appreciate where you and Anya and other lovely Queens have taken this and how do we get, or what, in your opinion, how do we get more women to get sexually liberated in a world? Which in my opinion, it tries to damper woman's sexuality, because I feel like the world in general tries to state that, Hey, if a man goes out there and he sleeps with a bunch of woman has sex with a bunch of woman, he's a hero, he's a champ. But then if a woman does the same thing, who has the same sexual drive, if not greater than a man she's shaped in a negative way. So how do you feel like we changed that?
Speaker 3 00:42:02 Yeah. I'm so glad you asked that. And you know, I don't have all the answers. I just know what worked for me. Right. Um, because if we eat, you know, as you said, the world is very unfriendly towards women owning their sexuality. And there's a myriad of reasons of that. You know, you can look back to colonialism and patriarchy and all that good stuff, Google away on that. But what I will tell you for me personally, is that I had to really comprehend and do some radical self-love work and really some pretty radical spiritual work. Because like you said, like when you can't turn to the world for your love and acceptance, you gotta go elsewhere. Right. Uh, and for me, you know, developing this, this total and radical self-love and learning how to cast off things that were never for me, like monogamy doesn't serve me.
Speaker 3 00:43:02 It's not for me. You know, it's not for demand that it is for the man that I love. It's not for me. And so couplebeing is a perfect relationship container for us because of those orientations. But I don't, I have ceased beating myself up because this doesn't it's like, if you have a sweater that doesn't fucking fit you, that shit is too fucking small, but you love that sweater. You, your mom bought you that sweater, you know, and it, every time you see it, you try and force it on you, but that shit does not fit. You have two options, you can continue to struggle, or you can say, thank you sweater for serving me when you did it's time for you, you know, to go to the trash bin and not to say we should throw away things, but we can recognize when these constructs in these paradigms we were, that were put on to us no longer that they don't serve us.
Speaker 3 00:44:00 And we can choose mindfully to cast those aside. And that's what I did to stay, you know, systematically now I was. And, you know, I think some of it is also luck that I was lucky enough. And when divinely, you know, perhaps divinely meant to meet the man that I love, who is perfect for me in this way. Um, but I also think the biggest piece and I mean, going back to slut sisters for me has been my relationship with other sexually empowered woman that have made me feel safe and have made me feel like I am not alone and are, um, you know, which is exactly why we are building slut sisters. Um, you know, and also we do in spaces like this, where it is safe, right. Need to tell our story so we can reach more women. Um, yeah, I think that's the biggest thing, right?
Speaker 3 00:44:55 Is you can enjoy all the empowerment that you want. My greatest desire has been to give back and, you know, really hope that my story resonates with maybe it's even just one woman. Um, but you know, it's, it's, that's, I think really some of the ingredients that, that we can use to make this more accessible to other women, uh, because when you are living your authentic life and not living, you know, in secrecy and shame and, you know, ongoing hurt, you're a better, more actualized person. You're more confident, you know, you're more willing to take risks to reap more rewards right in your life. Um, so yeah, that, that was a really great question, doc. And I really appreciate you asking me that
Speaker 0 00:45:43 Honestly, I'm voting for cup holders, Scarlet in 2024 for presidents. Fuck the rest a little bit.
Speaker 3 00:45:52 We're there yet. It would be great if like, like the president, uh, but I think we got a lot more work than in, before that
Speaker 0 00:46:01 We do, but I mean, that was very, very deep because I mean, what you just said was very profound and I don't think you understand the level of how profound it was, what you said, but basically, I mean, what you said, it really like transcended just the slow movement. It pretty much transcended it to all aspects of, uh, people that are beat up and they're forced to go into hiding and there's shame. And in all aspects, you know, in all associated economic places, you know what I'm saying? And I agree with you that one way to start to normalize it is to tell your story. And I love how you said that, Hey, come into the movement, come into the group, come into the community community community, right. That's w that's where we get empowered. And that's why I feel during the COVID shutdowns, people started to lose their power because they weren't part of those social communities anymore. You know? So,
Speaker 3 00:47:05 And if you think that your story doesn't have any impact, I'm sorry to cut you off. But like, I just wanted to say, like, I can hear people maybe listening to this and they're like me, like my story. Like nobody could really get anything from my story. Yes. You, you doc and I are talking to, because trust me, I could have never, in a million years imagined my story would have such resonance with so many other people. So yeah, no just said that in your head, that's who we need to hear from. So reached out to doc, you know, I think that what he's doing with, uh, you know, bowls and Queens, it's just incredible. Uh, you know, and, and they will always like reach out and they will love to hear people's stories. That's why you're doing this. So, yeah, I just wanted to highlight that real quick everybody's story is valid and matters.
Speaker 0 00:47:59 I don't give a damn of what you just said. Scarlet, I'm still going to vote for you. I'm going to write your name in the balance. So I don't care gone. It's done.
Speaker 3 00:48:11 Oh my God. I'm ready for the flat party. The cocktail party. Yeah. That'll be the third party we need the
Speaker 0 00:48:21 Yes. Yes. That would be awesome. All right. So tell me more about the, the realm of cook holding when it comes to teasing humiliation and denial, and in your opinion, why do you think it appeals to such a large group of couples and of ladies? Like it just give us your opinion, but just get raw with it. Hey, everybody, we have reached the end of this podcast episode with stakeholders Scarlet. So we are actually going to continue with part two of this episode with our interview with Scarlet. So we're going to actually publish that later on in the week as a bonus episode. So stay tuned for that bonus episode and until next time stay sexy.
Speaker 1 00:49:24 Thank you for listening to everybody's favorite black man candy, dark chocolate of the bowls and Queens podcast. If you would like dark chocolate to help you host your next fun and kinky private party, or you want info on his next monthly Las Vegas bulls and Queens Flay party, or you'd like to have him pose as a nude or semi-nude model for your next girl's night out or bachelorette party, make sure you go to www.bullsandqueens.com right now, and fill out the form on the website to contact doc again, that's www.bullsandqueens.com until next time, bulls, Queens and Kurtz stay sexy.
