Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:01 Oh right. Episode 13. This is a second part in a series that we started earlier this week with the sexy slugs sister movement with Scarlet. If you haven't watched the first part and not even watched the first part, if you haven't listened to the first part, you definitely want to hit on back to episode number 12, make sure you listen to that and grab the popcorn. Previous eats. As we finish this interview with cupholders, Scarlet,
Speaker 1 00:00:42 You are now listening to the bulls and Queens podcast, where we have sexy, fun, exploring the lifestyle and swinging exploits of black bulls, Queens of spades, cuckold fantasies, open relationships, seductive interracial encounters, and other kinky shenanigans that are sure to get you off in a very good way. So get ready ladies and make sure you take notes, gentlemen, because here is your host. That's super sexy, bold black men, candy, dark chocolate.
Speaker 2 00:01:41 You know, it's interesting, right? Because this is one, when people think cuckold day, this is usually what pops in their head, right? It's like kind of a, a situation where there's, uh, uh, a guy who really enjoys erotic humiliation and that's, you know, probably really, um, taboo. And like, I think that when we think of typical masculinity, the thought of a guy enjoying Hirata humiliation, doesn't really align with that, unfortunately. Right. But, but let's flip it around for a second. Right? I think that because of porn and because of, you know, other factors, it is so common to experience erotic humiliation for women, right. How frequently do you hear in porn? You fucking nasty bitch. Like it's, that's almost like standard dirty talk. Right. But if you really think about it, if he is saying that to her and she is enjoying it, that's erotic humiliation. Right.
Speaker 0 00:02:49 That is, that is.
Speaker 2 00:02:51 So we kind of accept that when it's being doled out to a woman who's consenting to receive that. Right. Hopefully we accept that. Like, w we're like, okay, that's that's I, okay, here, it looks fine in my book, but if you have the roles reversed, right. And if you have a, a man who enjoys hearing, you know, is way too small to satisfy me, you know? Uh, it's, it's cute. You're going to try and fuck me with that little Dick today. That those things are, yeah. That's we, we look at that as like, oh God, he what's wrong with him. Like, that's deviant, that's weird. Really it's part and parcel the exact same thing. There's a person who has a rod of size, this humiliation, uh, which is the case for my cook. He experiences cirrhotic, humiliation and enjoys when I Dole it out to him and that partner has consented and I enjoy the rush of power.
Speaker 2 00:03:57 It's a power exchange, right. That I get when I provide him with this humiliation and trust and believe this goes against every bit of socialization that you get as a woman growing up and throughout your adult life, it's you do not, you know, we are socialized to be pleasers in bed. We are socialized not to compare, you know, uh, our current lover to our previous lovers or Weber. Right? And so there is a certain rush of power after negotiating and communicating and ensuring that this is what he really wants. Uh, and that the, he is really enjoying this. A lot of women, despite their partners, really wanting them to provide this erotic humiliation. They struggle to make it true for them. Right. Like, I am not just doing this out to him because it's fun for him and he enjoys it. I also want to mutually enjoy it.
Speaker 2 00:04:56 Um, and so it took me a while to come into my voice with that. And, you know, it's not like I'm just being a kink dispenser and just doing this. It's something that like brings us closer together because we're having this very erotic power exchange and then it's over. And then I provide him with aftercare, right. And I say, you know, I love you. You are more than enough for me. You have always been enough for me doing all of those beautiful affirmations to ensure that he knows the scene is over. And that was my, my friend nookie calls it the little T truth. And the big cheat truth is that I love you. And you're enough for me. And, you know, I a pretty, so there's the little teacher, Ruth is Bible with the 10 inch deck. Fox knew better.
Speaker 2 00:05:45 The capital T truth is I love you and you are enough for me and you always will be. And I adore you just the way you are. Right. Uh, so we blend those things together, which is a beautiful dance. Um, and it's one of the reasons why it appealed to me. Right. Um, and so, yeah, so erotic humiliation, really not as strange or as deviant as people make it out to be, I'd be willing to bet that a lot of people right now, as we speak are fucking with erotic humiliation. Right. Um, so that's, that's just what I think about that. So teasing right. Teasing is, is kind of just another phrase for that. And I love it, right. Because it's fun. It's light, it's flirty. It's, uh, you know, me sitting on the couch and, uh, you know, really smiling big on my face.
Speaker 2 00:06:35 And he's like, what you looking at, babe? And I turn my phone around and it's, you know, my lovers big, juicy black cock, you know, that's, that's a tease. It's like, oh, this is what I'm looking at. And then that creates this anxious reaction in him that he really enjoys that he experiences ironically. Right. Uh, and I know you have probably seen this happen. You've probably been in the midst of this and it's a really like fun thing to see I'm sure from the outside looking in. Um, but yeah, it's, it's, uh, that's, that's kind of teasing is just, uh, kind of where a humiliation tends to be a little bit more intense with lots of aftercare. Teasing may not take aftercare. It may just be a fun little jab, which, you know, my fiance and I, we poke at each other all the time and have fun and give each other shared bits, you know, couples do that.
Speaker 2 00:07:33 And so, I mean, denial, right? So denial is another thing that is really taken out of context. When people think about this lifestyle and blown out of proportion and whoa, it's a pussy free cuckold. Right? You hear that a lot. So it's really not denial it's I make the rules in our bedroom. So we play how I want to play when I want to play. You know, that is, I am the one that initiates that. And so if I don't want to play with you tonight, you're not going to get played with, that's just, it's just that simple, right? Because that is the power that he has given to me as his cut cultures. And it is not a power that I just, again, that I just have, I have to earn it. It is a responsibility. Right. Uh, so I do have to ensure always that his needs are met and it's something I'm always actively thinking about, but in our bedroom, yeah.
Speaker 2 00:08:34 I make the roles, he falls the rules. And so, you know, it's not, it's, there's the beautiful thing about cuckolding is that you are open to so many more different types of sex than just PIV sex. You know, you can really learn all different sorts of languages of intimacy, and it's a beautiful, incredible experience for any couple to go through. Um, so yeah, so those are my thoughts on, on those three areas. And, you know, like I said, I I'm trying to make it accessible to your listeners. So anybody from like vanilla, vanilla, okay. To maybe swinging folks can maybe take these things that are a little bit like, seem like they're really out there and realize they're not as strange as they see
Speaker 0 00:09:22 Most men that do get become a cuckold. I feel like those are guys that are typically in the real world. They're not weak, they're not a pathetic, but I feel like they are actually the guys that are more empowered at their work or their businesses because, uh, people, and, and this is a psychology thing, but people typically that are beat up all day from the world, those are the types of people that wants to get in there and start thrashing, you know, like whatever, to their sexual partners, typically, and guys that are in empowered positions at the workplace or business, those are the type of guys that want to yield that power in the bedroom. And that's kind of what I've seen. Like,
Speaker 2 00:10:18 Yeah. Well, there's a lot of truth to that. Uh, you know, I think that, you know, if you are making a hundred thousand decisions all day, right, if all you do, and I mean, most of the men I know with cuckold desires are in calculating relationships, you're absolutely right. They are the guys in charge and most arenas of their wife. And it is a feeling of relief to be able to not feel like pressure or like I have to make another decision about my sex life, that I can lovingly seed that over to my wife, my girlfriend, and trust fully, you know, that she is going to take care of that and make those decisions. You know, it is a relief for them in that one domain of life. You know, I don't have to be the one with the final say, and I can just fully trust her lead.
Speaker 2 00:11:11 Right. There's like a lot of pictures on cuckolding websites of like I guy. And if he's holding the hand of his wife, as she's kind of like leading him, you know, if you've seen kind of those pictures, that's, that's really what it is in this domain. Now some couples take it further into like an FLR or a female led relationship that is not our dynamic. We are equitable, you know, just like you said, he has some things that he has the final say about. I have some things that I have the final say about, um, outside of the bedroom, you know, so, but you know, some people take that further and it really works for them and they mutually benefit off of it. But cuckold is not fr LR and is not dumb and no fuck, no cooks are not weak men. They are incredibly powerful men who are honestly braver and much more honest with themselves then, you know, a lot of people could ever dream of being a, it takes a lot of vulnerability to express these desires, that run counter, you know, to, uh, you know, how you were socialized and, and maybe they even have some shame surrounding that.
Speaker 2 00:12:22 So, you know, I, I love what you just said and, and I really appreciate you touching on that. Cause it's, I cannot say that enough, that cooks are not weak. They're loved there's charity. I mean, Venus said this on your podcast too. I mean, we just want to amplify that message because unfortunately, you know, there's a lot of fantasy fodder online that people can, you know, mistake as real life. And the way that cooks are treated in their relationships with simply is not true.
Speaker 0 00:12:57 Welcome. All right. So we're gonna end on this question. Well, two more questions. So as lifestylers Scarlet, we often have crazy ass stories. I know You've been going, where am I going? What am I about to ask
Speaker 2 00:13:21 A year ago about to ask me to share a crazy experience?
Speaker 0 00:13:26 Little me as you about a crazy old
Speaker 2 00:13:29 Yeah. Yes. I know you are. And the hardest thing about answering this question doc is like, which one do I pick? Honestly, like that's the hardest thing because you come into this lifestyle for these incredible experiences and I have so many of that, so hard to pick just one,
Speaker 0 00:13:48 Your nails are fucking sexy by the way.
Speaker 2 00:13:51 Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah, there,
Speaker 0 00:13:55 Yeah. Sorry. I was just really, really noticing it. All right. Pick the first one that comes to your head. Yeah. That's that one right there that thought that, that one right there.
Speaker 2 00:14:09 So I asked you if you knew about splash. Okay. Um, and it doesn't sound like, you know, too much about it. So have you ever heard of the take five room
Speaker 0 00:14:20 By room?
Speaker 2 00:14:22 Take five room, take,
Speaker 0 00:14:26 Take five D Dixon there in the room. I'm really guessing. I'm like, Hey, I'll try to Google it. But if somebody tells me it's not going to be something Google, no, Google it like, so, so what you're saying is don't Google this on my son's tablets.
Speaker 2 00:14:45 Yeah, don't do that. Definitely don't do that. I cannot sign off on that. Okay. I am responsible for that.
Speaker 0 00:14:54 I see all that. It's like, I am not responsible for scarring that young man's mind
Speaker 2 00:15:00 Not pay for the therapy bells. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:15:05 Oh man. Tell us what, what does it take fiber where you want to know?
Speaker 2 00:15:09 Oh, so at splash, um, mocha, what they do is they convert the conference rooms to play rooms. And one of the playrooms is the take fiber. And, uh, you know, they also have like a BDSM or room. They have like, uh, a white watching room, which is a really popular room. And the take five room is they gang bang room. It's exactly what it sounds like. And so I'm gonna take you back to when my gorgeous slash sister on you and I were at the, um,
Speaker 0 00:15:41 As you're going to take me to the take five room.
Speaker 2 00:15:45 Well, we could do that too, but anyway, um, I, I wouldn't want anybody cutting in on us, but anyhow, so at the take fibers, what, on our bingo card, it said 20 minutes in the tape, five or 20 minutes. So you have to start a counter 20 minutes amount of take five. And so if you, I mean, I'm sure you've been to lots of, I mean, I don't know. I know you've been to lots of swingers events, but I don't know how many games you've been to. I'm assuming a few, I'm assuming a few, I'd be willing to bet
Speaker 0 00:16:26 What's the five actually. Yeah. Yeah. So like, I I've been to it's Mo mostly orgies. I've been too sure. But, uh, maybe about two or three actual game bags where just a bunch of dudes and a lady, but I've been to multiple origins where it's just like, ah,
Speaker 2 00:16:52 All of the things happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, the take five room is, is you can play in there with one person if you want to. But you know, the, the idea is this is the gangbang room. And so, um, you know, we went in there, I went in there and I was ready to do my 20 minutes. Uh, I'm a know tap out Queens. I was like, Hey, got this simple. But what happened was, you know, when you're in a situation like that, it is so visceral and it's so, you know, it's almost like it's a casino time. I'm gonna use a lot of casino. Okay. Cause dark chocolate is in Vegas. I'm gonna use a lot of casino, uh, acronyms here when you play roulette and you watch that little ball and the punch people are watching to see if they, you know, won their bet. That's what it's like to be in the take five room. You are surrounded by, uh, just a plethora of sexy chocolate with the
Speaker 0 00:17:50 Ball on falling on black. It never falls on red. It's all, it's not black,
Speaker 2 00:17:55 Always on black, always been on black. That's my goal for you. If you know, that's my little advice if you're going to Vegas. So the take five room was a lot of fun. If you enjoy being that center of attention, you know, just reveling and you know, all the gentlemen kind of giving you that attention and, uh, really challenging yourself as a. So that was a lot of fun in the tape. Five are men. Yes. I hit my 20 minutes and then some, so I got to mark that off my bingo card.
Speaker 0 00:18:26 Okay. Scarlet, you're doing what my boy drew did to me. He got really Zillow when I was talking about, Hey, what happened to that Texas? And he was like, well, you know, I, uh, I was like, no, no, no, I don't want to hear that. I want to get the nasty details, like, okay, give me like 45 seconds of unadulterated, nasty, nasty nastiness Going to take five room.
Speaker 2 00:18:51 Okay. Well, I'll tell you this. I, I, my mouth is fantastic. You know, that's, it's not just the lips. Like I, I sucked it like a pro uh, ask any of my play partners if you're listening to this testify for me. Okay. Uh,
Speaker 0 00:19:10 I'm booking, I'm booking a ticket to Houston right now. Houston. We have,
Speaker 2 00:19:18 You've got to experience it. I love to sack deck. I love to worship deck. Like I I've just all about it. And so, uh, you know, especially at, you know, splash market, it's a bunch of sexy, you know, black men, like yes, ah, all in my mouth. Um, so yeah, you kind of get that experience of, you know, if this is ever a fantasy for any of your listeners, like really enjoying sucking, a big black deck and then also playing in one like import and like you're also playing with a deck and you're also getting fucked and it's really good. And just that energy of, like I said, being the center of attention is something that I really enjoy. I don't always have to have that. You know, I also love playing one-on-one, but I walked in the take five room and I was here to take fucking five. I would see it here for every hole, you know? And I just, oh, I had a really, really good time. See, now I'm getting excited. This is why a sensor myself. I have,
Speaker 0 00:20:20 I'm getting excited too. Honestly. I don't like shit. That's fucking sexy.
Speaker 2 00:20:26 It's an experience. It's, it's an awesome experience, man. I can't wait for the next flash.
Speaker 0 00:20:33 And as it's as like five, it's like three holes into hands.
Speaker 2 00:20:37 Yes. Yes it is. You could, you could do it at splash mocha. It could happen with everybody watching. You could do the ultra airtight.
Speaker 0 00:20:46 Oh, my there needs to be more orgies and gang bangs, like when I vote for you and when the people of the great country of America vote cook holders, Scarlet in the white house, and it's only 24, there's going to be more gang bangs and more orgies. That's the old platform right there. Girl.
Speaker 2 00:21:10 That's that's my, I know who would vote against that by God. Like make America bang again. That's I mean, I'm in line with it, man. Let me tell you, I will push that. I will push that. Uh, there it is. Uh, but yeah, it's just one there's so fucking many. It's so hard to choose. I have been so blessed really is the way I feel to encounter the incredible people that I've shared these memories with. Like, you know, I, I, my camera rolls full of videos that I take for my cock and that I take to enjoy. And all I've got to do is flip through one and the, oh, there's another amazing memory. Like, holy shit. I remember that night. That's, that's the beauty of this incredible lifestyle, right. Is the memories you make and cherish and knowing that that's just going to continue and you know, like, fuck, I'm so lucky. I lived such an incredibly sexy life. Like, man, I must've did something. Right. You know, so yeah. It's, it's always hard for me to pick one, but I thought you might like to hear about the take five room and I hope you come to splash with beautiful miss Carmel and you can experience it.
Speaker 0 00:22:20 I'm going to come and I'm going to come.
Speaker 2 00:22:23 Um, com okay.
Speaker 0 00:22:29 I want you Scarlet to give one key piece of advice for somebody that's listening that has been exploring cuckolding or perhaps their husband or their significant other has been exploring, holding and has presented the idea to them. And they're kind of like, where do I start? Is this for me? And then to end it, I want you to tell people again, how to reach you at. So go present
Speaker 2 00:23:00 And precedent scholar. I love that. And I was so not expecting to start planning my political career. Okay. So what I would say about that, um, you know, is cuckold doing specifically the container that I am, habit is a container that requires just like any form of relationship or ethical non-monogamy it requires a tremendous amount of communication, a tremendous amount of trust and safety building. This is not something you wander into wantonly. Okay. Um, so just throwing that out there. What I really want people to know about color-coding specifically is that in 99% of the instances, it's going, I'm going to say 98, cause it's getting a little lower. Now the man is the person that introduces holding to the dynamic. This is a specific fantasy the man has. In most instances, the woman doesn't even know what it is. I didn't, I'll tell you that right now.
Speaker 2 00:24:06 And because of that, because that the, the gentleman has the first beat in the dynamic, um, or, or, you know, and in many cases, gentlemen, fantasize about this for years and decades, without telling their wife or significant other, I have heard those stories, right? It remains between their two ears until one day they find the courage or the vulnerability to say it. And you can imagine what happens in years and decades between someone's ears. When they finally want to experience it, it's like a flood, right? However, the color-coding relationship dynamic is really about her coming first fig plea. And literally it is about her empowerment being uplifted. And a lot of guys come into it with a laundry list of wants. I want to eat a cream pie out of your pussy. I want you to humiliate me in front of a big sexy black man.
Speaker 2 00:25:05 I want, I want, I want, and I want him, okay. That may never happen for you. Vena said this on your show too. If that she doesn't find that empowering and mutually beneficial, this dynamic is about her. And of course, in elevating her to her empowerment and supporting her in most instances, she is going to come around and enjoy, you know, really bringing you in and involving you in every way that you desire, but you're not driving this car. You're the passenger she's driving a, it really is about her. So that is like critical to set yourself up for success in holding specifically. Um, and the final thing I will say, and again, I can't hammer on this enough is reach out to support if you're a cuckold couple and you're just meeting bowls everywhere I go, I meet a cuckold couple and hopefully some sexy bowls too, but I can no have that comradery.
Speaker 2 00:26:07 So if things get hard and shit's hitting the fan, I can pick up the phone and be on the phone with a woman who understands me in less than a minute. And I need that. We need each other we're stronger together. And I truly believe that, like I said, in the beginning of the episode, we're pioneers, we're fucking hacking through, you know, the rough with machetes here, you know, really forging a path for those coming behind us. So good. No, it is, it is challenging. It is hard. If you have a support system, it is easier. Um, and you know, I am more than welcome and I have always had an open line with my readers of my blog. You're welcome to reach out to me. Um, the help is becoming so much more accessible and the support is becoming so much more accessible as more people lend their voices, right?
Speaker 2 00:26:58 So lend your voice, you know, be willing to share with somebody else. Who's, who's not, you know, just a bowl or, you know, someone that you're wanting to talk fantasy about with this, um, have a support system and have some tools and work on yourself as a person. You know, uh, I know I'm sounding a little preachy here, but trust me as someone who's lived in this dynamic for several years, you will find that you really have to continually work on yourself all the way through it. It never stops. You know, I see you nodding your head doc. I mean, that's true for you too. I'm sure as it is for, uh, all of us in this lifestyle. So that those are the, the last words I'll leave you with. And you can find me, uh, primarily on my blog, which has a lot of great writings about some of the things we've talked about today.
Speaker 2 00:27:46 I wrote a blog post about jealousy. I wrote a blog post about abundance and, uh, living your abundance in your sexuality. And in this dynamic specifically, I've also written some very hot borderline erotica stories there about my love of exhibitionism. And, um, you know, I've written about chastity and my cut's first chastity kid. So there's a lot of, of great reading that you can dive in there. And hopefully that'll spur some, you know, conversations as you read my writings or other writings about cuckolding. It's like, oh, I really like that. Or I don't know about that so much. We would have to communicate before we try something that, so, uh, that is at cuckold dress. C U C K O L D R E S S Scarlet, S C a R L E t.com. I like to spell it out for you doc, because it's such a weird word. I know, right? It's like you say it beautifully, but it's like German and sounds a little harsh.
Speaker 0 00:28:46 Say that correctly. You
Speaker 2 00:28:48 Are saying it correctly. Absolutely.
Speaker 0 00:28:51 I feel like, cause I'm a, I'm a first-generation American. And so sometimes I have a little bit of a, uh, slight accent when I say certain words, the syllables. And I felt like, I would say that cook holders. No,
Speaker 2 00:29:03 That was perfect. It was actually like quite beautiful the way you pronounced it. Uh, but yeah, that's cup holder, scarlet.com and I'm on Twitter at S like doc was saying three S's at the end. Um, and I've got an Instagram too. They've kept me on there. I'm afraid I'm going to get booted at any second.
Speaker 0 00:29:22 You ever don't like pills or anything? Have you like, okay. Don't answer that. You're running for president. Don't wanna answer
Speaker 2 00:29:33 That. That's right. That's right.
Speaker 0 00:29:36 Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry. I got you. I'm your chief of staff.
Speaker 2 00:29:40 Yeah, you're definitely getting a cabinet position. Um, okay. So my Instagram is cuckold Doris again, that word cuck, O L D R E S S underscore Scarlett, S C a R L E T a. And that's where you can find me, doc. Thank you so much for having me on this has been a joy. Thank you.
Speaker 0 00:29:59 Oh, this has been wonderful. And this isn't going to be the last time either. Like we're going to connect virtually. We're going to connect in person. That's a definite and you guys, and ladies that are listening to this, the links are in the description. Cupholders, scarlet.com with three S's and then Twitter at, at S so three S's at the end and scroll. It is such a deep and a profound thought leader, not just my next president, but she's a thought leader because I was going through your blog posts. And you're very deep in your articulates and you're, you're an artist and you're a connector of people and the world needs to hear more of your voice. And, uh, either through spoken word written, uh, whatnot, and your voice is so beautiful. Uh, you need, I'm surprised you don't have your own podcast, honestly. Like,
Speaker 2 00:30:59 No, I never will. I like, and that's why I love coming on when, when other hosts so graciously have made, because I just, I just don't see myself in that space. I love writing so much. Um, so I appreciate that, but I just have me on again.
Speaker 0 00:31:17 There we go. There we go. We're going to meet in the middle. We're going to meet in the middle. So yeah. All right, Joel. So visit my girl cup holder is Scarlet. And if you get on her good side, she may invite you to take five Ru oh yeah. So easy. God bless you guys. Make sure you check her out and we will see you on the next episode. You better goddamn, well, make sure that you leave me a five star review. All right. We're out.
Speaker 1 00:31:45 Thank you for listening to everybody's favorite black man candy, dark chocolate of the bowls and Queens podcast. If you would like dark chocolate to help you host your next fun and kinky private party, or you want info on his next monthly Las Vegas bulls and Queens play party, or you'd like to have him pose as a nude or semi-nude model for your next girl's night out or bachelorette party, make sure you go to www.bullsandcleans.com right now, and fill out the form on the website to contact doc again, that's www.bullsandqueens.com until next time bulls Queens, and Kirk's stay sexy.
